This One's For the Ladies

I feel like I could have (and should have) wrote this. Sent to me by a friend:

ORIGINAL LETTER:


Brad,

It would be difficult for me to be any more miserable right now, I
feellike the worst person ever. First, let me start by saying that I am
truly truly sorry, and I hate myself for hurting you. Of all the
people in the whole entire world, you were honestly the last person that I would never want to wrong in any way. There is no excuse at all for anything that happened, so I won't even try other than to say all of us had WAY too much to drink, and I did a stupid thing. I can handle you being pissed at me, I absolutely deserve it, I can even handle the ugly words that were exchanged between us, what I can't handle is thinkingthat you see me as a different person. It is weird, I feel like I
justwent through a horrible break up or something. The world looked funny yesterday, I couldn't crack a smile if you paid me, there are songs I can't listen to, and I just ! feel beyond crushed.

I don't know if you meant everything you said to me, and I am hoping that you didn't. I know that I was wrong on many levels, but I am also hoping that this is something that we can deal with. I know it sounds totally crazy and stupid, but you have come to play such a significant role in my life, I can't imagine my days without you. It is totally strange and weird to say that, and you could say that my behavior didn't reflectthat, and you would be correct. I hate feeling like you hate me, and I hate feeling like all of your friends think I am a terrible person,
because I am not. I know there is nothing I can say or do to take back what happened, but I just want you to know that fighting with you was just about the worst thing I could have ever imagined. It was right up there with one of the ugliest nights of my life, and I would give anything in the world to rewind and fix it.

I am not sure if you will respond to this, part of me thinks that you won't. If not today, then maybe some other time. Also, thanks for getting my stuff together, although I think my sunglasses are still at your house, if you could keep your eyes peeled for them that would be great. I can't even focus or work today, I can't eat, I seriously feel like it was an ugly break up, and I am hoping against hopes that it
was not that and you are not done with me. Please don't cut me off, I really don't think I can handle that.

I am so sorry.

Elizabeth





RESPONSE:

Dear Elizabeth,

Thank you for your concern. I'll be sure to file it away under "L" for "Long-winded diatribes from drunken whores I couldn't care less about".

You did a stupid thing huh? No...doing long division and forgetting to carry the one is "a stupid thing"; Mixing in a red sock with a load of whites is "a stupid thing"; Blowing some guy in a bathroom for 45 minutes while I sit at the bar wondering if you're taking so long because you ate too much bran that morning isn't as much a "Stupid thing" as it is grounds for permanent removal from my social
calendar.


To be honest, I'm not sure if it was more amusing that you went and degraded yourself in a public toilet not once but twice in a 2 hour span, or that you seemed to think that by saying "Well, I didn't Fuck him" somehow gave you a clean slate.

So forgive me if I couldn't care less if the world "looked funny" to you yesterday. Since your world revolves around blow dryers, golden retrievers, Prada Bags and Jelly Beans, I'm sure it must have been most unsettling to actually have to consider someone else's feelings for 24 hours straight. The good news for you is that my friends don't think you're a terrible person, they just think you're the average run of the mill cum-guzzling blond who commands about as much respect as your
average child porn collector. I could be wrong but, it's pretty hard to respect some B&T chick who comes out to spend the night at my place even though she's seeing someone else in New jersey and winds up tongue-bathing the taint of anyone who decides 30 minutes of droning commentary on Colin Farrell's new haircut is worth putting up with for a hand job in the men's room. The good thing about being a guy is that when I eventually bump into the young lad who finger-blasted you on top of a towel dispenser last saturday, we'll have a shot and laugh our heads off about the time it happened.

By the way, for the amount of time you claim to spend in spin class you really must be doing something wrong to sport the thunder thighs you do. Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.

PS. I BCC'd about 100 people on this email.


Talk to you never,
Brad

Make sure you ask for those sunglasses back...

This one really does hit close to him, I must admit. But lets put the girl aside for a second. She's obviously a whore with few morals. I mean, suckoffs in the bathroom can be hot, but not when someone's cheating. Like, that's the type of shit your girlfriend does to you!

After reading this (I can't really believe I'm analyzing it, but it struck a chord) I am starting to realize that he's the jackass. Not for sending it to 100 people, or anything like that, or coming with such great lines, but for dating her. He had to know this girl had a past, and he took it on.

Contrast his writing with her writing, and you can see immediately who the idiot is (her). He is clearly witty, clever, and funny, but he did date her. So she either gives really good jaw, is hot, has a great set, or some combination because it was his girlfriend. You can't really be shocked when things like this happen if you knew who she was coming in. Heck, my ex-girlfriend cheated on 4 guys, and all of them with me. I felt when we got together that it was acceptable since she had never done it to another. Should have known, once a cheat, always a cheat.

So in the end, my bad. Except mine didn't even give good jaw, which I only realized later on.

Of Course

She's a hypocrite.

It's Not Just the Left?

That thinks Bush can't be trusted? I mean, think about it logically. George W. Bush is considered a conservative. Personally, I've always thought it was fake, and don't believe he's religious, or truly conservative, but he does model himself as such.

So Bush nominates Harriet Miers to the Supreme Court and guess what group doesn't believe she supports their views? That's right, the conservatives! Why do you ask? Because he can't be trusted. It's that simple. At the end of the day, watching his Presidency, not even the conservatives truly have faith in a lifetime decision (a lifelong war in another land, that's a different matter, of course).

Now, if Clinton, who of course can't be trusted because he gets blow jobs from fat chicks (which, btw, knocks out about 70% of all males in this country), were to nominate a judge in a similar fashion you could rest assured Democrats would have faith that his selection would make decisions they generally agree with. Because Clinton wasn't an idiot. In fact, he was the complete opposite of an idiot.

For Clinton I use the term "Democrats" and for Bush I use the word "conservatives" because that's the case. Clinton didn't pander to the liberals, in fact, he was quite moderate. Bush panders to conservatives, and yet now they're the ones who don't trust him to make the right choice. Some Republicans in his party weren't too worried because they know full well she'll be the corporate lawyer they love on the bench, so it wasn't the party as a whole. Rather, just the ones he can usually rely on for support: the puppets.

Seems to me, when push comes to shove, and a real issue, aka, the only issue the puppets care about hits the table, conservatives don't trust their oh-so-wise Commmander-in-Chief. Isn't that something? No trust in Mr. Morals.

As for Bush, and his lame ass excuse about protecting future Presidents by not releasing information he received from Miers when she served as counsel, well, that's just typical Bush garbage. No other President in recent times has tried to push someone through who has no record to examine, and hopefully no other President will.

The reason he chose Miers is he doesn't know any better. He doesn't know the laws. He doesn't know judges. He doesn't have relationships with any legal professionals except those who have worked for him because legal minds usually spend time with others who can think. He can't. His friends probably aren't lawyers. They're not judges. Only the super asskisser who calls him the "best governor ever" is his friend. His other friends are "regular guys," except those who have tried to use him for their own gains throughout life. So he knows Miers, and he likes Miers, and he trusts Miers, and Miers is a smart woman, and Miers is a capable woman, and Miers will make a great judge, and Miers has had a great career, and, and, and, and, you're a fucking idot, and there goes your Super fan Judge, you tool.

Can't we just impeach now that we know the right doesn't trust him either?

Shame on Them

How dare the US Senate want information on Harriet Miers!

See ya, bitch. Now go look like a deer in headlights back at the ranch.

Celebrate!

Hey, we reached 2,000 deaths in Iraq!

Damn, it seemed like just yesterday we crossed the millenium and everyone worried if the lights were going to go out.

I wonder if people in Iraq thought their lights were going to go out when we hit 2,000. Then again, their lights have been out every day since the war began. And I can't even begin to can't how many Iraqis lights have been turned out...for good. I bet it's more than 2,000.

Infinite Wisdom

So Howard Stern is being replaced by David Lee Roth and Adam Carolla. No, seriously, that's it. Across America different Stern affiliates will have different shows, but in New York it's the former Van Halen front man, and the former guy who wasn't that funny during his last radio show. His TV show is just killing...

Don't get me wrong, I think Adam can be funny, and DLR is certainly interesting to me. I am, afterall, a lifelong Van Halen fan. But is this the way to go?

It seems Infinity decided to reinvent the entire K-Rock station by going with FM Talk. They tried this at 102.7/WNEW a few years back, but Opie and Anthony ruined that with their antics. I thought they deserved to be fired, but I also believed there was enough talent, and lack of NYC programming to keep it going with a morning show and Ron and Fez (whose show was better than O & A). So certainly a return to FM Talk can work.

Infinity is following the lead of 101.5 in New Jersey which runs mostly FM Talk all day, with a News/Talk morning show. The station blankets much of the state with average talent, but when there's no competition then you're going to do well. The new 92.3 FM could change that for sure. In fact, I wouldn't be surprised to see Infinity go after "The Jersey Guys" since one half of the Jersey Guys, New Yorker Craig Carton, was doing mornings at WNEW when it was talk. So there's that. The new station will play music on the weekends, like 101.5 FM does. There's your model. It took someone with real balls to come up with this plan. Yeah, right.

Where Infinity will fail, and others do as well, is bringing in a names like Roth and Carolla. People, wrongly or rightly, have opinions of these people. They've seen Carolla's show on TV, and heard him on Stern. Roth has had some experience in radio, and has been around. Certainly both are interesting, but neither have grassroots, and never will.

Take Stern, Limbaugh, Hannity, Savage, Rogers, or Mancow. These guys are considered the top talents in the country, and yet who were they before you heard them on the radio? NOBODIES! Yet now they're the stars who are hard to replace (Hannity can be replaced by an electric toothbrush, IMO). If Programmers had the guts to do it they'd seek out the person who is currently a nobody, and one day will be a somebody.

Lets take the movies. If you hear that Tom Cruise, Tom Hanks, and George Clooney are doing a comedy titled "Midlife Crisis", you may go, or may not. You know them already. You have an idea of what you're going to get. Even if some co-worker says, "Oh, it's soooo gooood. You have to see it. Clooney is so hot..." There's a good chance you're still not gonna see it. Ahhhh, but then there's "My Big Fat Greek Assho...Wedding" and "Sideways." Smaller films that people rave about which you probably weren't aware of before all the excitement. THOSE YOU GO SEE. Christian Bale doing Batman, that you go see. You go see what you don't know.

People tend to listen to others about things they're not familiar with. People want to be involved; the first to know. People want to be the person who introduces others to the new song, album, movie, magazine, play, you name it. That's how you create real success in this business. GRASSROOTS. Let the talent speak for itself. Piecing together average talent because they have names is not going to get you anymore.

I can provide more examples of this, but I think you get the point. Just remember who all the real radio stars were before they were radio stars. They were the person no one knew.

Thoughts

Iran would like to "wipe Israel off the map..." Hey, at least they're honest, right? Gotta give 'em props for not be shying. Of course, it begs the question: Did we attack the wrong country? And of course the answer is yes. Not that we should just be attacking nations for the sake of it (try telling a Republican that), but if we were going to attack someone in the Middle East I think Iran was probably a bit more of a threat, don't you think? Heck, if it were up to me I'd be raining bombs on Saudi Arabia, but that's just me.

Comments like these out of Iran just goes to show how truly clueless our foreign policy really is at this point. I remember people telling me that Iraq would be seen as an example to others not to mess with the United States. Afterall, wasn't that what the Baghdad carpet bombing was all about? What was it called again? Niggas Gettin' Blasted? I don't think the bombings had their desired effect. In fact, I think it has had the complete opposite effect in that now the country won't support a war in Iran, or anywhere else for that matter. Had the administration not blown it so badly you'd still have the war card in your hand. This is no longer the case. Besides, nations who actually do have nuclear weapons, they're the ones not being attacked, hence why Saddam probably wanted them, and why I believe we knew he didn't have them. This White House doesn't have the guts to really take on an enemy who could exact serious pain on us. There is certainly pain being felt because of Iraq, but they believed this would be a cake walk.

By the way, have we been welcomed as liberators yet?

Really?!?!?!

WNBA Players Opens Up About Being Gay!

Other shocking developments:

Supermodels do Coke

and

Blacks are Fast

and

Air is a Necessity...

Seriously, Ms. Swoopes, it's not that anyone cares that you're gay. It's just that conservatives don't want you telling anyone that you made that choice because then there's a chance there kids will make the same choice you did.

Dick 'n' Judy

I just got around to reading Byron Calame's Public Editor piece from Sunday's Times, and all I could think of was how perfect it is that Judith Miller was the one who went to jail over this whole leak fiasco. Birds of a feather flock together.

Read the story for the details.

Seriously, she was "upholding journalistic integrity" by not revealing her sources, or some shit. I don't buy it. She had zero integrity at the beginning of the Iraq War, and the whole going to jail thing was a way for her to act as if she had morals, etc. I don't buy it at all. She has no inegrity as far as I'm concerned. Sure, her recent stance will help her sell some books, I'm sure, but she's a cheat like the rest of them. Anything to get to the top, that's Judy Miller.

I would've to see some of her old mailroom footage.

Ohhhhhh...

So Dick Cheney and George Tenet were just casually discussing Joe Wilson's wife, and what she did, where she did it, or she did it for, that never came up...

Right.

Hmmm, that is a nice bridge. I think I'll buy it.

Bur-NANK-ee

He's the new Fed Guy.

How do you think a guy like this feels, someone so educated, on the ball, engaged in real economic decisions, when he has to wait and see if an idiot like George W. Bush is going to select him to run the Fed?

Tan Socks?

Hooked as he was, Mr. Bernanke nevertheless bridled at Washington's customs, including its dress code. "The biggest downside of my current job is that I have to wear a suit to work," he told fellow economists in a speech last January. He likes tan socks and was once chided by President Bush for wearing them with a dark suit. His puckish response was to buy a dozen tan socks and distribute them at the next White House gathering.

For whatever reason I pressed and pressed to have Ben Bernanke on my show a few years back. I had read some of his basic stuff, and just had this feeling this guy was going to move beyond the world of Princeton. It was just a total hunch. Had no clue he'd be tabbed under the Bush Administration. Nevertheless, I had the opportunity to ask him a few questions back in the day, so looking back, that was cool (he was a bitch to get on the phone).

But seriously, everyone Bush appoints is smarter than Bush. It's like when adults had to deal with a child Prince in medieval times. They had to tip toe around the Prince because like a child he could make some crazy decision to end someone's life. It must be so similar today. Don't say anything too smart, or quick, or embarrass the man. Just nod, "Yes, yes, I totally agree with you, Mr. President. The Earth could be flat. It just depends on how you look at it..."

Sideshow

It's pretty apparent that Harriet Miers is not qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice. It doesn't help she has no track record having never been a judge, served as a corporate attorney where you'll never see her independent papers/ideas, and of course you'll never see anything she did for Bush.

Which is why I'm convinced this is a complete sideshow that the President and his staff hopes dominates the nightly news, while taking the heat off of themselves.

Ruh Roh

I really wonder where this thing is going.

Wow

Dennis Hastert really said this:

"The Budget Enforcement Act of 1997 (Reconciliation) passed by a vote of 327-97 with 51 Democrats joining Republicans to provide fiscal responsibility. This year, the Democratic leadership has recklessly urged House Republicans to abandon our deficit reduction efforts by scuttling the reconciliation process. In addition, Democrats in Congress have proposed spending amendments of nearly $17 billion dollars. It is one thing to criticize if you have a real plan, but the Democrats have failed to find ways to keep our children from bearing the burden of a skyrocketing deficit.

Has nothing to do with the Bush tax cuts. Nothing.

What a piece of shit.

I've Pointed This Out Before

But now is as good a time as any since I'm sure we're going to hear it repeated again and again as the rationale for going to war is not only put into question, but actually dismantled and criticized as we go forward:

The administration has acknowledged the failures of pre-war intelligence, though its supporters have pointed out that many Democrats, including former President Bill Clinton, and the intelligence services of other countries were also convinced that Saddam Hussein had caches of banned weapons.

An administration official said Saturday night that the White House had taken steps to improve the nation's intelligence services since the war. But the White House's insistence that there were other compelling reasons for deposing Saddam Hussein, including spreading democracy and denying Al Qaeda a haven, have only inflamed critics of the war.

True, many Democrats thought Hussein/Iraq had WMD, but keep in mind that many Democrats were swayed by mis-information coming out of a faulty Pentagon and the Iraq Working Group. Our own government lied to our own government as well, not just the public.

In addition, while Democrats, and Bill Clinton in particular, may have believed Hussein had weapons, since he had used them, one should not assume Clinton, or any Democrat, would have concocted information with the desire of pressuring the American public that war was necessary because of those weapons. Clinton wouldn't have invented such a dire situation.

Maybe there's a reason Clinton never went to war in the first place, but maintained the no-fly-zones? Yes, because he didn't have definitive proof, but did have his own beliefs. Cheney and Bush didn't have definitive proof, but like is so common with conservatives, they let their beliefs formulate their opinions, strategies, and actions, not the facts. That's the difference between the Democrats and Clinton versus the Republicans and Bush, even if they had similar thoughts.

To the second point, there may have been other reasons to goto Iraq, but thoese were not the reasons the administration used to convince the American public that we needed to goto Iraq. Clinton may have believed Hussein had WMD, but not all WMD are weapons that can hurt the United States, even if those weapons were nuclear weapons.

The administration used the 9/11 fears combined with the belief a terrorist, or regime like Iraq, could use a nuclear weapon against us, to sway the public. That was their case for war. Their secondary cases were made only after the fact there were no nuclear weapons.

I don't refute there were reasons to goto war, but their needed to be an hoenst dialogue, and there was not. If Cheney/Bush believed there were secondary reasons, which are now seemingly primary, then that's the case they should have made. Then Americans could have decided. Instead, they lied and deceived everyone, and now troops are dying and credibility is lost on so many levels, with no realistic chance Iraq will ever be a democracy.

Thank god they impeached Clinton...that was fun.