Goss Darnit!

Porter Goss already leaves the CIA.

Apparently the Washington Post, and I'm sure every other news outlet, can't do a real story on the guy, so we leave that to folks like Josh Marshall.

I'm not a betting man, but I'd wager Marshall is closer than anyone else.

Let His Run Begin!!!

Kennedy may have met the pre-req for becoming President in the 21st Century:

Rep. Patrick J. Kennedy crashed his car into a security barrier near the Capitol early yesterday, and officers at the scene suspected that he might have been intoxicated, a police union official said.

Kennedy (D-R.I.) issued a statement late last night -- his second in several hours -- saying he had been disoriented after taking prescription drugs: Phenergan for gastroenteritis, an inflammation of the stomach and intestines, and Ambien, a sleeping medication...

Earlier yesterday, Cannon said officers at the scene thought Kennedy was staggering and might have been intoxicated. They called for supervisors over the radio, and the supervisors drove Kennedy home, he said.

Cannon said officers were upset that supervisors prevented them from conducting a more thorough investigation, which might have included sobriety tests. "The officers just want to be able to do their jobs," he said.

No Worries

Let the good times roll:

Contraception use has declined strikingly over the last decade, particularly among poor women, making them more likely to get pregnant unintentionally and to have abortions, according to a report released yesterday by the Guttmacher Institute.

The decline appears to have slowed the reduction in the national abortion rate that began in the mid-1980's...

Among sexually active women who were not trying to get pregnant, the percentage of those not using contraception increased to 11 percent from 7 percent from 1994 to 2001, the latest data available, according to numbers Guttmacher analyzed from the National Survey of Family Growth, a federal study.

But don't worry because the % of white conservative families who have started to adopt little black kids has increased dramatically! Riiiiiight...

There's a bill in the House to increase the adoption right amongst white southerners. It's called the "White Southerner Tax Relief to Save Children." Basically, if you adopt a black child that was born to a poverty stricken family you receive a tax break. And by "break" I mean a lifetime of never having to pay taxes again.

This has caused a serious problem within many of the considering families, as the two conflicting interests have caused severe mental anguish.

Win!

Maybe he can finally win something!!!

Former University of Tennessee and NFL quarterback Heath Shuler won a congressional Democratic primary Tuesday in North Carolina.

Shuler notched 77 percent to beat Michael Morgan, with 62 percent of votes tallied. He'll face Republican incumbent Charles Taylor, representing the 11th District, who handled opponent John Armor by taking 81 percent of the votes tallied.

Shuler is expected to give Taylor, a veteran representative criticized for his ties to disgraced lobbyist Jack Abramoff, a strong run on the general ballot.

Taylor, however, has survived a number of Democratic challenges during his 16-year tenure.

"This is the year," Shuler said Tuesday night. "We continue to see the trend that he has in his votes. He doesn't reflect our family values, the people in our district or the direction our country should be going."

In all seriousness, Shuler could be huge. He's got southern appeal, and can win that "guy vote" I'm so often told Democrats fail to grab.

Developing...

Mexico!!!

FUCK YEAH!!!

Mexican President Vicente Fox will sign a bill that would legalize the use of nearly every drug and narcotic sold by the same Mexican cartels he's vowed to fight during his five years in office, a spokesman said Tuesday.

The list of illegal drugs approved for personal consumption by Mexico's Congress last week is enough to make one dizzy — or worse. Cocaine. Heroin. LSD. Marijuana. PCP. Opium. Synthetic opiates. Mescaline. Peyote. Psilocybin mushrooms. Amphetamines. Methamphetamines.

Say goodbye to the term "MEXICAN SCHWAG!!!"

Hey, all jokes aside, this is the only way to fight the drug war: stop fighting it.

Hello Future Bachelor parties.

What?

Seriously, what's Noam Scheiber of The New Republic smoking?

"I'm a big Stephen Colbert fan, a huge Bush detractor, and I think the White House press corps has been out to lunch for much of the last five years," Noam Scheiber wrote by way of introduction on the New Republic's Web site. But a few lines later he said: "I laughed out loud maybe twice during Colbert's entire 20-odd minute routine. Colbert's problem, blogosphere conspiracy theories notwithstanding, is that he just wasn't very entertaining."

Obviously, whatever he's smoking, it's not good.

"What he believes on Wednesday he believes on Monday...It's important to setup your jokes right...the last third is usually backwash...In the gut..."

There, 4 things I can think of off the top of my head that were priceless...

The Nationals

Colin Powell's bid to become the first Almost Black Man to own a baseball team has been defeated:

Baseball Commissioner Bud Selig called Bethesda-based billionaire Theodore N. Lerner today to tell him he will be the new owner of the Washington Nationals, team sources said.

An announcement by Major League Baseball is expected shortly.

Now he'll focus on being the first Almost Black Man to run for President. But he'll face a stiff challenge from Condi Rice, who thrives to be the first Almost Black Man to have a vagina.

Too Funny

I'm almost tired of www.youtube.com already, but this is great stuff.

Next Up...

On the United States' assassination list??? DRUM ROLL PLEASE!?!?!?!?!?

President Evo Morales of Bolivia ordered the military to occupy energy fields around the country on Monday as he placed Bolivia's oil and gas reserves under state control.

The country has a coup in 2 years, or he's dead. One or the other.

I'm Terrible With These Things

Birthdays, Weddings, Anniversaries. Can't believe I missed another, especially one as important as this:

Three years ago on Monday, aboard the USS Lincoln, "The tyrant has fallen and Iraq is free," President Bush declared, standing underneath a banner proclaiming: "MISSION ACCOMPLISHED."

Maybe next year, when the mission is accomplished, I'll remember...or the year after...OR......the year after that.....OR....never.

Damn Turks!

Don't expect any favors from us!!!

Turkish Foreign Minister Abdullah Gul said Sunday that his country refused a request from the United States to attack Iran from its Air Force base in Incirlik, despite the U.S. offer of a nuclear reactor, according to a report in Al Biyan.


In an interview for the United Arab Emirates newspaper, Gul noted that America’s efforts to attack Iran are “imaginary” and that Turkey’s stance is “strategic” and refuses the use of its land for any belligerent activity against neighboring countries.

Great

To think that we're not "winning" this war. Our troops are now being re-trained to go fight in Iraq. In other words, our entire strategy really was, "we'll be welcomed as liberators!"

Our military didn't even have enough soldiers trained to fight this war. I guess it's Bill Clinton's fault for not reshaping the army to do battle in the Middle East.

I'd Like To Buy Your Vote

Hi, I'm John Q. Republican, and I'd like to buy your vote before the next election. However, there's one condition: you have to let oil companies drill in Alaska in order to get this money.

Sure, sure, I'm well aware that by giving you $100 you're only going to give it back to the oil companies anyway, but who cares? I'm GIVING YOU ONE HUNDRED DOLLARS!!! The Democrats aren't going to just give you money.