I Didn't Want to say my Name was "Dave"...

to a motherfucker named Running Coyote.

So I'm going to Atlantic City to see Phish on Halloween, and I'm really struggling to come up with a costume idea.

It has to be something Jersey.

Initially I wanted to be be "Bruuuuuuce", but then I realized I'd be one of many Bruces. It'd be like going as Elvis in Vegas, or Memphis, or at a buffet. Then I thought to myself, "Hmmm. Maybe Jon Bon Jovi is a good call." I quickly realized Jon Bon Jovi is never a good call, regardless of the situation.

And then it occurred to me last night after going through every possibly idea from Frank Sinatra to Queen Latifa to the Situation to Jack Nicholson all the way to Abbott and Costello...no one really knows who is from New Jersey, nor does anyone care. Except me.

Truth be told I'm really really thinking about being Juan Epstein, the Puerto Rican Jew, who is from Jersey and neither Rican nor Jew in reality.

Ahhhh...but then it dawned on me, the costume i was meant to be, except the character I'm basing it off isn't actually from Jersey.

Instead of Jay-Z I decided I want to be Jer-Z, which would basically be me dressed as Jay-Z in all his hip-hopped glory, etc. etc. However, I don't think anyone would really get it unless I did the (un)thinkable, and that is paint my face black. Which of course is the dilemma.

A few black friends of mine have said the same thing, almost verbatim, that "it's fine with me because I know you, but it's Atlantic City...and you'll probably get your ass kicked pretty good." Not really looking for that, but something is telling me this is the costume I was born to be.

I am left wondering if painting your face black for Halloween is actually racist? And then I have been asking myself the follow-up question of whether black people ever go "white-face" for Halloween? I've never seen it. Then I realized he/she would probably just end up looking like a mime.

Now I'm thinking maybe I should just be a mime, but the only problem is I don't shut the fuck up, so that would be really hard for me, especially drunk in Atlantic City.